To Khalid Amayreh, Ashamed

Writing To Khalid Amayreh, Ashamed

This exchange with the Palestinian journalist Khalid Amayreh <amayreh@p-ol.com>
took place on a disgraceful occasion and it speaks for itself.

----------- Message 1 ----------

From: Asher Shla'in

To: Khalid Amayreh

Sent: Sunday, May 18, 2003 3:32 AM

Subject: I care and worry

Dear Khalid.

I am very reluctant to write this message, and now, when I start it, I am not quite sure that eventually I'll send it. I feel the need to express my state of mind, I am not sure you are the right addressee for that, yet I feel kind of obliged.

This weekend has been one of the many hard days that we experience nowadays, in our land and abroad. A suicider blows himself on a couple who came to pray in Hebron, scores of people killed in Morocco in multiple suicide attacks - but for me the most depressing event was learning the details of murderous events that took place in Hebron last December.

That is because those crimes were committed by Israeli young people that were stationed there in order to protect me.

Some 30 months ago, in a message to you, I expressed the assumption that our soldiers are not typically "trigger happy". Maybe I even was right at the time.

Only that now I feel I cannot count on that. Yedi'ot Ahronot and the Israeli television have brought parts of the evidence about the vicious frenzy of Border-Guard people, that took place before they left to other posts, apparently as a revenge for their casualties in a Palestinian ambush.

The report is that they chose their victims at random, and innocent people "paid" for their resentment.

I am not well informed about what the actual atmosphere in the Border-Guard (and other units as well). I could live with the news of a bunch of maniacs (who should be uprooted and properly punished), but I am afraid that our system is not well suited to handle this problem. It seems that the investigation got on way only because another criminal, questioned on his own misdeeds, gave his friends away.

It became known only after months. The comment of the Border-Guard commander is very unsatisfactory. Now I feel that my security is bought for a very ugly price, unnecessary for sure.

Indeed in an argument within my family, it was claimed that this is an unavoidable result of the occupation. I am positive that this is not so. Yet it does happen, and I am a bit perplexed, because I feel obliged to do something about it. Yet, again, who says it is not too big for me?

I do not expect you to give me any help. You may contend that if we just left you people alone, everything will turn to the good. I still think we should find the way to stay together without the adverse influence of the people of power and influence in the opposing communities. Only that the way is not clear to me. I still work on it.

The way of Gush Shalom and their similar is not my way. You know I do not believe in an apologetic attitude about being Zionists.

I am not sure how the present message (and sharing it with other people) can help.

I send it in an impulse. I believe that, on the whole, one must be sincere and fair.

In this message I do not criticize the Palestinian side, but I give no assurance as for other messages...

Yours,

Asher

----------- Message 2 ----------

From: khalid

To: Asher Shla'in

Sent: Saturday, May 17, 2003 10:37 PM

Subject: Re: I care and worry

Shalom Asher: I understand you quite well. I believe now as I always did that these bloody events are mere symptoms of deep-seated problems. We need radical answers. We both need to ask radical questions, and answer them honestly. Until that happens, I am afraid we will continue to hear depressive news in the morning and in the evening.

It is very sad indeed that killings and counter-killings (it no longer matters who started which killing) have become the sole medium of communications between us. That has to stop, by making radical decisions and be honest with the people.

Frankly, I don't believe that in the absence of a strategic Israeli decision to leave the Occupied territories of 1967, there can be any real peace or stability. And the conflict is getting more complicated as it is beginning to assume a global terrorist dimension, as we saw yesterday.

I know and am sure that peace there will be one day, but I am afraid that lots of Jewish and Arab and other blood will be spilled before we can have even a pretaste of peace.

I am as depressed as you are, Asher. But frustration will not solve the problem; it will only make things more incendiary.

Thus, we must face reality; it is either continued, bloody strife, or divorce.

And the divorce will have to be mutually agreed upon...

Khalid

----------- Message 3 ----------

From: Asher Shla'in

It seems that the bloody weekend extended after I sent my previous message, and more people were killed and injured in a bus (including a Palestinian passenger from Shuafat).

I must say that my response to this cannot be described as "frustration". After all, we got used to Palestinians taking revenge of random people. Some people even "understand" it. I believe we shall prevail eventually over the terror and reduce it to the (rather high) international level... What indeed frustrated me is the failure of the Israeli society to control and restrain cruel and murderous abuse of power by mal-educated wretched troops. This sort of frustration does not make things more incendiary

.Yes, these are symptoms of deep-seated problems. Yes, we need honest radical answers to courageous questions. Yet more depressing events are expected even after some agreed-upon answers are found. There is power to disrupt the life of people in the hands of those who are not honest, not compassionate, not too wise either.

I believe I need to do more within my society to advance wisdom, care, decency and courage. This is not easy in the present atmosphere, yet one can sense that these hard days tend to produce, beside the bad apples, also an extraordinary minority of open, sincere people who cannot be confused by empty slogans and may be receptive to bold ideas. Involving such people in effective dialog is a very ambitious project.

I would like to see a similar process in your society as well, and I feel that our advance in this respect may encourage your side. Incidentally, your advance could contribute to ours as well. Yet I realize that the efforts you should make need to be of a different character, because you face different obstacles.

My concept of "fighting Terror" is not merely that of reducing the injuries to my people, but rather to liberate your people from intimidation by internal agents of hatred and destruction, who would use their violence to oppress voices of reconciliation.

"Killings and counter-killings" in my opinion is not a phrase that describes the situation. The question "who started?" is indeed not too productive. I tend to ask "who and what maintains it?" and what can be done to change the trend.

Unlike you, I do not see that a strategic Israeli decision to leave the Occupied territories of 1967 is essential for peace. On the other hand, maintaining the present situation is shortsighted and harmful. The strategy should aim at creating the conditions for the end of oppression and humiliation. We need to direct our efforts toward a compound society that will preserve the welfare and dignity of every member. This is for sure a better prospect that building a wall between a thriving state and a miserable population under a corrupt, ruthless regime. The way to achieve that must be long and difficult - but it could be started - even on grassroots level - if "critical masses" of support are maintained on both sides.

You can see that the word "divorce" cannot describe my view of a way out of the bloody strife. Reaching a mutual agreement is indeed essential - but I would not trust the present people in power on both sides to represent the real needs of the people.

My dream is that the work I outlined above will have a role in the events and maybe overtake the bigger part of the blood-spill you rightly foresee.

I have been observing "currents" within the Israeli and Palestinian societies during the past three years. I agree with you that the rabble mentality has gained pre-eminence in both societies. There are many worrying manifestations testifying to this sorry reality.

Non the less, this reality, repugnant as it is, seems to be reflective and symptomatic in nature. This suggests that once the psychological situation improves, the symptoms will either disappear or subside.

I think both societies need to desensitize. But in order to do that a modicum of mental equanimity has to prevail for some time.

Honestly, I don't see much intimidation on our side. We have crossed this stage a long time ago. We are not Saudi Arabia, Syria, or even Jordan. I strongly believe that we are probably the most democratic Arab society. The fact that we haven't had a civil war, despite all the incendiary factors, testify to this fact.

I also believe that the bulk of Palestinians are interested in ending the violence. They just want to do it in dignified manner...without incurring collective humiliation..without a sense of defeat. You know, physical survival has always been the Palestinians' ultimate ceiling. We are too weak to defeat Israel, we don't even dream of defeating Israel. But we won't capitulate because capitualation would portend our eventual demise as a people.

I agree with you that settling the conflict is going be very difficult and will take a long time. The longer the conflict remains unresolved, the closer we get to the one-state solution, now an anathema to most Jews.

I know that many Israelis harbor the "transfer" option as an undeclared strategy of the Jewish state towards the Palestinians. But, I am sure that this strategy, declared or undeclared, would only perpetuate the conflict in ways similar to the Crusades.

Hence, I believe peace-minded Israelis should confront "the rabble camp" with this reality. It is either two states along the lines of the 4th of June, 1967, or a unitary state for all....Jews and nonJews.....How that state would look like a hundred years from now...I don't know.....I am sure I won't be there to see how it would unfold.

I admire your general approach. I feel that we communicate in the right tone even when we disagree - and in important issues we do have similar views.

I share the wish that when the real conditions change, the belligerent spirit among the people will subdue. However, my hope in this respect is marred by the fear, that the deliberate incitement in the Palestinian media, mosques, and many schools and kindergartens, is very effective and leaves a deep impression in young minds. I am certain that any freedom fighting does not require this amount of deadly hate. The people behind it evidently see Israeli (and even Jewish) existence as something transitory and not as a reality to live with in the future.

Yes, Israelis maintain their propaganda too - but not with the same aim of planting hatred and deliberate institutional dehumanization toward a whole population.

In the meantime, I do miss such voices within the Palestinian society, that even through times of bitter strife and great rage - would guide the public and the youth towards future normal life with neighbors and partners of different national and religious identity.

You imply that intimidation does not prevail in the Palestinian society. If I believed this, I might conclude that there is very little real support to the idea that we are destined to live in peace eventually. This would cast doubt on the possibility to build up human relationships between the populations. So, the idea that people avoid real peace activities because of intimidation is one basis to my hopes for the future...

I feel, like you, that ending the conflict should be in a dignified manner - dignified to all sides.

This is our need too. Dignity is needed also to preclude surrendering to terror. Complying with extortion is in my mind more humiliating than being a victim of simple robbery. Regretfully, past leaders behaved otherwise - and a grave price was paid by all people in this land.

It is a very tragic situation when disposing of atrocities can be considered as a capitulation that leads to national demise. Maybe heart-searching is not necessarily disgraceful. Maybe violence can be restrained not just because it does not suit the "Palestinian interest" but because the suffering of Jews is also an issue... Is this so degrading?

I know of no policy aimed consciously to humiliate the Palestinians - but I cannot be confident as for the wisdom and magnanimity of our leaders. Indeed, "Peace of the Courageous" coined by Arafat (?) was a beautiful slogan - but its creator (Arafat, isn't he?) abused it in practice.

Do you think that maybe we should try to formulate a new text that will reflect the need for both reconciliation and dignity for everybody? Can such a text allow for both Zionism (the idea not the whole practice) and the one-state option?